I am making a chat system and am new to xmpp technology.For server I am confused among ejabbered , openfire or tigase.I don't know erlang.And am good at java.
I am looking in a case where I have to change a user roster again and again everytimes a user logged in.And that too completely.So I am thinking to control user roster by myself and not by xmpp server.Morever I want to control what to do when a user went idle/busy. And many more.And for security it will be great if it can be done on server side rather than client side.
so how should I customize the xmpp server.And as I need to customise a lot which server should I use?Based on how easy its to learn them and customise them?