I ran into the same problem and have a fairly educated guess as to the answer. Keep in mind that DataPrep simply takes all your GUI based inputs and translates it into Apache Beam code. When you pass in a reference data set, it probably writes some AB code that turns the reference data set into a side-input (https://beam.apache.org/documentation/programming-guide/). DataFlow will perform a Parellel Do (ParDo) function where it takes each element from a PCollection, stuffs it into a worker node, and then applies the side-input data for transformation.
So I am pretty sure if the reference sets get too big (which can happen with Joins), the underlying code will take an element from dataset A, pass it to a function with side-input B...but if side-input B is very big, it won't be able to fit into the worker memory. Take a look at the Stackdriver logs for your job to investigate if this is the case. If you see 'GC (Allocation Failure)' in your logs this is a sign of not enough memory.
You can try doing this: suppose you have two CSV files to read in and process, file A is 4 GB and file B is also 4 GB. If you kick off a job to perform some type of Join, it will very quickly outgrow the worker memory and puke. If you CAN, see if you can pre-process in a way where one of the files is in the MB range and just grow the other file.
If your data structures don't lend themselves to that option, you could do what the Sys Engs suggested, split one file up into many small chunks and then feed it to the recipe iteratively against the other larger file.
Another option to test is specifying the compute type for the workers. You can iteratively grow the compute type larger and larger to see if it finally pushes through.
The other option is to code it all up yourself in Apache Beam, test locally, then port to Google Cloud DataFlow.
Hopefully these guys fix the problem soon, they don't make it easy to ask them questions, that's for sure.