Maybe I didn't understand your question/problem. These are the ways you can debug your code
Debug the local code that uses the local database
This is the easiest setup and it probably already works on your system. You have all the files on the local computer and also you have an instance of MySQL running on it. The code connects to localhost:3306, the xdebug extension is installed and it can connect to PhpStorm, everybody is happy.
Debug the local code that uses the remote database
You can have all the PHP files on localhost and use the local mamp stack to debug it; you control the environment, xdebug works and happily collaborates with PhpStorm. You want the code to be able to use the remote (live) database.
In this case you need a way to access the database. Either you create a MySQL user that allows you to connect from the IP address of the local computer (a firewall along the way might prevent this), or start a ssh session that creates a tunnel from the local port 3306 (or any other open port you choose) to port 3306 of the database server (assuming the host where you ssh is allowed to connect to it). You can do this by running
ssh user@remote_host -L 3306:database_host:3306
(replace user, remote_host and database_host with your actual values)
If you have a MySQL server installed and running on localhost then the local port 3306 is not open and ssh cannot use it as the source port of the tunnel. Use another port instead (let's say you use 13306):
ssh user@remote_host -L 13306:database_host:3306
Modify the local configuration files of your application to use localhost as database server and 13306 as database port.
Debug the remote code
If you want to debug the live code (it uses the live database) then you have to upload the code on the web server (the live environment) and make it work there (be able to connect to the database etc).
In order to be able to debug it you need to have the xdebug PHP extension installed on the server and properly configured in the server's php.ini configuration file.
The debugger (the remote xdebug extension) needs to connect to your local computer where PhpStorm is listening on port 9000. This is either impossible or making it happen requires changing configuration here and there in several places (that might be out of your control); we better forget about it.
We can use the ssh tunnel trick: start a ssh connection to the server that creates a tunnel from local port 9000 to the servers port 9000:
ssh user@remote_host -L 9000:localhost:9000
Test if it works
PhpStorm provides a tool that uploads a script on the web server then tries to access it to check if the xdebug extension is properly configured. Depending on the version of PhpStorm you use, you can find it either in the menu (Run -> Web Server Debug Validation, on PhpStorm 9) or somewhere in the Settings (PHP -> Servers or around, on older versions).