You can write your custom modules which hook up to events in ejabberd.
Here is a list of events of ejabberd:
adhoc_local_items(Acc, From, To, Lang) -> Adhoc
adhoc_sm_items(Acc, From, To, Lang) -> Adhoc
c2s_stream_features(Acc)
c2s_unauthenticated_iq(Acc, Server, IQ) -> Packet
disco_local_features(Acc, From, To, Node, Lang) -> Adhoc
disco_local_identity(Acc, From, To, Node, Lang) -> Adhoc
disco_local_items(Acc, From, To, Node, Lang) -> Adhoc
disco_sm_features(Acc, From, To, Node, Lang) -> Adhoc
disco_sm_identity(Acc, From, To, Node, Lang) -> Adhoc
disco_sm_items(Acc, From, To, Node, Lang) -> Adhoc
ejabberd_ctl_process(Args) -> CtlStatus
filter_packet({From, To, Packet}) -> {From, To, Packet}
local_send_to_resource_hook(From, To, Packet) -> ok
offline_message_hook(From, To, Packet) -> ok
privacy_check_packet(Acc, User, Server, PrivacyList, {From, To, Packet}, Dir) -> Auth
privacy_get_user_list(Acc, User, Server) -> PrivacyList
privacy_iq_get(Acc, From, To, IQ, ActiveList) -> {result, Packet} | {error, Error}
privacy_iq_set(Acc, From, To, IQ) -> {result, Packet} | {error, Error}
privacy_updated_list(Acc, OldPrivacyList, NewPrivacyList) -> PrivacyList
pubsub_publish_item(Host, Node, From, To, ItemId, Payload) -> ok
remove_user(User, Server) -> ok
resend_offline_messages_hook(Acc, User, Server) -> [Route]
resend_subscription_requests_hook(Acc, User, Server) -> [Packet]
roster_get(Acc, {User, Server}) -> [RosterItem]
roster_get_jid_info(Acc, User, Server, JID) -> {Subscription, Groups}
roster_get_subscription_lists(Acc, User, Server) -> {[FromSubscription],[ToSubscription]}
roster_in_subscription(Acc, User, Server, JID, SubscriptionType, Reason) -> bool()
roster_out_subscription(Acc, User, Server, JID, SubscriptionType, Reason) -> bool()
roster_process_item(RosterItem, Server) -> RosterItem
sm_register_connection_hook(SID, JID, Info) -> ok
sm_remove_connection_hook(SID, JID, Info) -> ok
unset_presence_hook(User, Server, Resource, Status) -> void()
user_available_hook(JID) -> ok
user_receive_packet(JID, From, To, Packet) -> ok
user_send_packet(From, To, Packet) -> ok
http://www.ejabberd.im/Events+and+hooks
Here is a tutorial on how to create a module for ejabberd:
http://happy.cat/blog/XMPP-Bots-ejabberd-mod-motion-2010-02-01-10-00.html
Basically write some module and register/add your module in ejabberd.cfg config file like so (e.g. "mod_motion"):
{modules,
[
%% ....
{mod_motion, []},
%% ....
]}
An example which I developed can be found here:
https://github.com/Mingism/ejabberd-stanza-ack