What you are looking for is running Jetty in an embedded scenario.
There's plenty of examples available showing how to tie together the various pieces you need to accomplish your goals.
Check out the embedded examples in the jetty source tree.
For the record, jetty standalone is really just jetty embedded with a few startup and classpath related bootstraps. It is the same code, and assembled in basically the same way.
Since you stated you want Servlet 3.0, have no interest in JSP, this is rather easy to setup. (JSP is trickier to setup, but possible).
For servlet 3.0 specific embedding, there's a complete example project hosted at github.
https://github.com/jetty-project/embedded-servlet-3.0
In short, you'll have the following initialization code.
package com.company.foo;
import org.eclipse.jetty.annotations.AnnotationConfiguration;
import org.eclipse.jetty.plus.webapp.EnvConfiguration;
import org.eclipse.jetty.plus.webapp.PlusConfiguration;
import org.eclipse.jetty.server.Server;
import org.eclipse.jetty.webapp.Configuration;
import org.eclipse.jetty.webapp.FragmentConfiguration;
import org.eclipse.jetty.webapp.MetaInfConfiguration;
import org.eclipse.jetty.webapp.TagLibConfiguration;
import org.eclipse.jetty.webapp.WebAppContext;
import org.eclipse.jetty.webapp.WebInfConfiguration;
import org.eclipse.jetty.webapp.WebXmlConfiguration;
public class EmbedMe {
public static void main(String[] args) throws Exception {
int port = 8080;
Server server = new Server(port);
String wardir = "target/sample-webapp-1-SNAPSHOT";
WebAppContext context = new WebAppContext();
// This can be your own project's jar file, but the contents should
// conform to the WAR layout.
context.setResourceBase(wardir);
// A WEB-INF/web.xml is required for Servlet 3.0
context.setDescriptor(wardir + "WEB-INF/web.xml");
// Initialize the various configurations required to auto-wire up
// the Servlet 3.0 annotations, descriptors, and fragments
context.setConfigurations(new Configuration[] {
new AnnotationConfiguration(),
new WebXmlConfiguration(),
new WebInfConfiguration(),
new TagLibConfiguration(),
new PlusConfiguration(),
new MetaInfConfiguration(),
new FragmentConfiguration(),
new EnvConfiguration() });
// Specify the context path that you want this webapp to show up as
context.setContextPath("/");
// Tell the classloader to use the "server" classpath over the
// webapp classpath. (this is so that jars and libs in your
// server classpath are used, requiring no WEB-INF/lib
// directory to exist)
context.setParentLoaderPriority(true);
// Add this webapp to the server
server.setHandler(context);
// Start the server thread
server.start();
// Wait for the server thread to stop (optional)
server.join();
}
}