Enable rule for specific ribbon button should be like:
<EnableRules>
<EnableRule Id="crm.Form.contact.MainTab.Collaborate.SendNotif.Command.EnableRule.OrRule">
<OrRule>
<Or>
<FormStateRule State="ReadOnly" />
</Or>
<Or>
<FormStateRule State="Existing" />
</Or>
</OrRule>
</EnableRule>
<EnableRule Id="crm.Form.contact.MainTab.Collaborate.SendNotif.Command.EnableRule.RecordPrivilegeRule">
<RecordPrivilegeRule AppliesTo="PrimaryEntity" PrivilegeType="AppendTo" />
</EnableRule>
<EnableRule Id="crm.HomepageGrid.contact.MainTab.Collaborate.SendNotif.Command.EnableRule.SelectionCountRule">
<SelectionCountRule AppliesTo="SelectedEntity" Maximum="1" Minimum="1" />
</EnableRule>
</EnableRules>
In sample above, main part is:
<EnableRule Id="crm.HomepageGrid.contact.MainTab.Collaborate.SendNotif.Command.EnableRule.SelectionCountRule">
<SelectionCountRule AppliesTo="SelectedEntity" Maximum="1" Minimum="1" />
</EnableRule>
If you are using Visual Ribbon Editor for crm 2011 (I recommend) enable rule tab should be like:

Compare your settings with this example. This works, verified :)
Hope it helps