I've setup my meta tags exactly like vimeo and am able to post swf files onto my profile and page. It works great and looks the same as when sharing a vimeo video.
The difference is that vimeo/youtube are able to have large thumbnail filling the maximum width and height of a highlighted box. When I highlight mine it keeps the same thumbnail and height and stretched the width of the text to two columns.
I have the same meta tags as vimeo (which does the same as youtube) so I'm sure I have everything setup correctly. My only explanation is that facebook maybe generating the first frame of the FLV the swf tries to load. My swf file does not load one...
Has anyone tried to do something similar? Any help is much appreciated.